@okay_andi: Make sure to make eye contact with the hottest person in the room as you stuff a burrito into your mouth
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@Ham_Tornado: New children's book I'm working on: "Nobody poops but you, you disgusting little freak".
@QueefTornado: Watching a birth is beautiful. Not knowing any of the parties in the delivery room & singing Salt-N-Pepa's "Push It" will get you arrested.
@HatfieldAnne: Googles “what happens if you accidentally eat raw cookie dough” [5 minutes later] “twice”