@AskThePankazzzz: Makes a girlfriend in IIT. Breaks up with her. Adds Ex IITian in bio.
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@WritePlay: *date* GIRL: I love hot tubs. Do you love hot tubs? LOBSTER: That's like the third time you've asked me that.
@XplodingUnicorn: 2-year-old: The dog tastes like dirt. Me: Don’t lick the dog. 2: He licked me first.
@ElgatoEsmio: Texting you back right away doesn’t make me a psycho. What makes me a pyscho is watching you through your window while petting your cat.