@AskThePankazzzz: Makes a girlfriend in IIT. Breaks up with her. Adds Ex IITian in bio.
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@DirtMcTurd: I swear if I see one more person enter this WalMart wearing pajamas I am going to take the belt off my bathrobe and choke them with it
@AtticusFinch79: [taking a walk with mom] Me: *steps on a crack and hears a woman scream* Mom: I guess now is the time to tell you that you're adopted.