@somelightcrying: [makes eye contact with someone through crack in bathroom stall] hey
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@Underchilde: Stop, drop and roll if your clothes are on fire or if you spot your ex under the mistletoe.
@comer310: Orange: Knock knock Apple: Who's there? O: Orange A: Orange who? O: Orange you glad I didn't say Banana? A: Yes! That guy is the WORST!
@UncleDuke1969: She said we needed to talk and... I said, "Yeah, I think we should break up, too." She said, "About where to eat." "Oh," I said, "Pizza?"