@somelightcrying: [makes eye contact with someone through crack in bathroom stall] hey
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@Marlebean: They say a dog park is a great place to meet guys. I don't have a dog, but I walk around with a bag full of poop so I don't look weird.
@gabeserra: Power's been out for 40 minutes and the kids are asking why I haven't put new batteries in the house yet...
@LolaFaglana: I taught my youngest niece and nephew to say "Mommy steals credit cards" when they're in a checkout line.