@somelightcrying: [makes eye contact with someone through crack in bathroom stall] hey
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@thenatewolf: Telescopes probably use mirrors which means there is absolutely no way to know how many vampires there are in space.
@Carbosly: I hope zombies will come from Mexico. After eating their way through fat Americans, they'll be like "Sorry little Canadians. We're full."
@AGStr8upNinja: If only people were named after their tattoo's. This guy standing in front of me in Petro Canada Would be named Machine gun-Snake-Jesus.
@KeetPotato: mailman: ahhh nothing quite like returning home from a long day delivering m- [gets attacked by his own dog]