@TheEighthKnight: Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car, instead
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@EddieMcSugarnut: I'm just a naked guy in an elm tree noticing the creepy way you stare at me through your bathroom window.
@dafloydsta: [job interview] "Name one of your strengths" I didn't stab anyone today "That's not-" Yesterday wasn't so good tho
@GabbbarSingh: People with Swiss bank accounts are often confused between their Bank balance and the Back Account number.
@skylerhanrath: [pirate ship] Pirate: Walk the plank Me: *struts down like nobody's business* Pirate: wait come back that was awesome you're one of us now