@TheEighthKnight: Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car, instead
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@marinhubka: "I'm not sure-" wife: honey he's a zookeeper if he says these are koalas I trust him-aww look at them! *the raccoons hiss from the dumpster*
@GensPlace: She was a very heavy smoker with a cough that curdled your blood. Phlegm fatale, they called her.
@underchilde: If you buy a Mustang and don’t rev the engine at every red light, the bank will repossess it.
@KelFocker: A homeless guy asked me for 50 cents for a sandwich. I said, "First let me see the sandwich."