@TheEighthKnight: Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car, instead
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@junejuly12: Funny that when some people go out for 'fresh air', they come back in smelling like 'weed'
@ch000ch: call 2 psychiatrists and tell them ur gonna put them on the phone with a guy who thinks he's a psychiatrist. now put them in the same call.
@Mikestanley1: [pulls up after first date] Me: well, this is my place Her: a bouncy house? Me: you expected a bouncy castle? IM SORRY "YOUR MAJESTY."
@Darlainky: What wine pairs best with concession stand popcorn? Asking for the thermos I'm taking to this high school football game.