@badbanana: Man, the way these journalists are complaining it's like they only went to Sochi to use doorknobs and go poop.
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@girl_a_whirl: A bird in the... *BLOCKED* Birds of ... *BLOCKED The early bird catches the wo...*BLOCKED & REPORTED FOR ABUSIVE CONTENT -worms on Twitter
@iRowlf: I'm wearing a shower curtain over my head and pretending to be a ghost. I probably look legit because everybody on this bus is avoiding me.
@bridger_w: If you're behind someone at an ATM at night, let them know you're not a threat by gently kissing their neck.
@jake_likes_naps: *catches up to jogger while wearing the same outfit* good luck shaking the police off loser *sprints ahead while sirens can be heard*