@QwertyJones3: Mankind is capable of unimaginable feats of engineering and yet the windows on the airplane never line up with the seats.
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@Sarcasticsapien: I like how people say pets love you unconditionally like if you didn't feed them and someone else did they wouldn't go to them immediately.
@towelforacape: People always say I make things sound sexual but I try not to pry them open and force my thick throbbing opinion down inside them.
@Quartzjixler: A mother bear defending her cubs but it's me defending the fresh pan of bacon from other hotel guests at the breakfast buffet.
@vornietom: When I was just a little girl I asked my mother, what will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? Here's what she said to me No