@JB4Realz: Many people are shocked when they find out I'm not a good electrician.
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@generaldietz: Spiderman: Can I be in The Avengers now? Captain America: Um sure. Spiderman: What should I do? Iron Man: You're in charge of web design.
@shwebby2: British police don't carry guns. So what exactly do they do then? Yell "STOP... OR I'LL SAY STOP AGAIN!"
@TheTweetOfGod: If "the word impossible is not in your vocabulary", you have a pretty limited vocabulary.