@IGotsSmarts: Many rastafarian babies are born out of dreadlock.
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@moose_chocolate: The E. coli in the city water supply means I am just one glass away from my goal weight.
@JODYHiGHROLLER: i NEVER VOTED FOR A PRESiDENT BECUZ iF iM GUNNA WASTE MY GAS THEN iT BETTER BE ON SOMETHiNG iMPORTANT LiKE DRiViNG TO CHiCK-FiL-A
@gmossii: Every time I put on my striped socks I always have an ominous feeling that today is the day that a house will drop on me.
@ceejoyner: Original plans for Mt Rushmore had the mouths carved open so they would scream out bats at the setting sun then eat them again at dawn.