@IGotsSmarts: Many rastafarian babies are born out of dreadlock.
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@Brampersandon_: NURSE: do you have any allergies ME: burnt bread NURSE: you're allergic to burnt bread? ME: yes I'm black toast intolerant
@TheMichaelRock: Nice try, Team USA. Not bad for a country that only cares about soccer for two weeks every other year!
@WeissBrandon: Friend: If Nicki Minaj, Ke$ha, Nickelback, and Creed all died in a plane crash who would you miss the most? Me.. F... M.. F.. Me: the pilot
@TheMichaelRock: If we have learned anything from the Friday the 13th movies, it's that Jason mainly kills people having sex. Most of you should be good.