@RobDenBleyker: Margaret Thatcher died?? And more importantly, Margaret Thatcher was still alive??!!
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@cool_as_heck: OBAMA: your resume says you think of the "best nicknames?" ME: that's right, Obama-nable snowman *finger guns* OBAMA: [softly] holy shit
@karencheee: Happy that I paid $ for a gym membership to exercise the little neuron in my brain that argues whether I should go to the gym every day
@SortaBad: I'm sorry that you invited me over to your apartment for dinner and I created a negative Yelp review about the experience
@Sassafrantz: Relationship Status: I ate 7 bananas trying to get the new guy at work to notice me.