@njlitigator: Mark Zuckerberg I know you are a new parent but it's way more fun to tell children you are giving away their inheritance when they are teens
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@KentTheG: When co-workers ask if the photos on my desk are my kids, I like to say, "No, they're Dan's from accounting. But they're so cute!"
@Xoolun: Been having a problem with diarrhea & its unbearable The doc said lemons will help I said I know but as soon as I take 1 out it starts again
@WhatsHerFace33: If your wife says "what would you do without me?" "Live happily ever after" is NOT the correct answer. Brrrr it's cold in this doghouse :(