@ZiggyMcFuknuget: Marriage: Betting someone half your shit that you'll love them forever.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DannyZuker: You can learn a lot about your kids by simply turning off the TV and talking. For example I discovered that mine are really boring.
@jenyb4: Cw: you have a call holding M: put it in my voicemail Cw: he has a sexy Australian accent M: hiiii this is Jennifer
@TheMichaelRock: You can now take small knives with you on planes, but my 4oz bottle of mouth wash is dangerous. Got it!
@ShesARealGenius: On your first day in prison, make sure you go up to the warden and compliment the décor.