@TheAlexNevil: Marriage is about understanding what irritates your spouse and using it strategically.
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@thenatewolf: *sees a guy snap fingers at a server. I reach for my bag* Wife: No. We only have one left. We have a baby. Me: (to genie) take his fingers
@3sunzzz: Fun Fact: If you answer your phone, "Christ speaking", 70% of the callers will hang up on you. You're welcome.
@Darlainky: Parents, we noticed you successfully avoiding the candy and toy aisles, so we brought the candy and toys to your checkout lanes. -stores