@TheAlexNevil: Marriage is about understanding what irritates your spouse and using it strategically.
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@ValeeGrrl: 4pm Me: How was school today? Kid: ... 6pm Me: Do anything fun today? Kid: ... Bedtime Me: Goodnight! Kid: Guess what happened at school?
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: Is there candy in that drawer? Me: No. 4: Can I check? Me: Do you have a warrant?
@KKAlThani: If you love something, set a cheese trap. If you catch it, it's a mouse. Why are you in love with a mouse?