@Sanbel11: Marriage is an institution. So is the mental hospital.
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@mandysparklerxo: You'll never say "wrong hole" more often than when you're trying to help a toddler put on gloves.
@AnnaKendrick47: The saddest thing about the digital age is the next generation won't have that "nudie mag they found in the woods" experience. #culture
@WarrenHolstein: Save money this Halloween by utilizing last years' hobo costume to dress up as this year's federal employee.
@Xoolun: My wife tells me she wants me to surprise her with a gift that will take her breath away. I'm thinking about getting her a treadmill.