@TankCesar: Marriage: when hanging out goes way too far.
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@samfromks: White smoke from under my hood means either my starter went out or my car has elected a new Pope.
@turtledumplin: Someone on my FB posted a snap that said "I'm boared" And I'm just like....... *don't comment *don't comment *don't comment *don't comment
@gojarbe: me: wanna see my cat's shed? friend: lots of cats shed. why would-- [my cat enters wearing a tool belt] cat: show him the gazebo, too