@KevinFarzad: Marry someone shorter than you so you can hide all the good snacks on the top shelf.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: A COWORKER BROUGHT HER INFANT INTO THE OFFICE LET'S ALL CROWD AROUND AND TERRIFY IT. -women
@chris_isloi: The reason your car won't go over 60 in the city is because you haven't yelled "HOLD ON!" yet.
@TheCatWhisprer: We save women and children first because the dads have to make sure all the lights are off and the thermostat is set appropriately.