@KevinFarzad: Marry someone shorter than you so you can hide all the good snacks on the top shelf.
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@philco816: Man Maroon 5 just keeps the hits coming . Wife: The radio isn't on. Those are two alley cats in heat. Me: I don't wanna know, know, know.
@Sirrruh: One day my kids will find a "We're Closed" sign for a grocery store & ask what it is & I'll sound like the old guy explaining shit in Zelda.
@5exyunchained: It’s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.