@agathagotstoned: May you always be the one looking confused standing in the back of a group selfie
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@thecrabbyhook: My mother has now been sending me a Valentine's card for 28 years. She's persistent but I'm not interested.
@TOMayorFord: Daylight Saving Time starts this evening, turn your clocks forward and change smoke alarm batteries before going to bed tonight.
@crimson_n_aqua: Had a discussion with my boss about how lanyards can strangle.... conversation took a turn.... I am either fired or getting a HUGE raise x2