@longwall26: May you never be as bored as whoever figured out that holding a seashell to your ear sounds like the ocean
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@djdarrellripley: Me: It's not often that a single guy like me gets a home cooked meal. Her: Why don't you get married? Me: I've never been that hungry.
@SortaBad: I'm sorry that you invited me over to your apartment for dinner and I created a negative Yelp review about the experience
@bobvulfov: [magic school bus] KID: where are we going today MS. FRIZZLE: the zoo KID: but last week we went to SPACE MS. FRIZZLE: im hungover, children
@Death_Buddy: You want just one cow for those magic beans? Idk, I'm suspicious, magic beans sounds like the sort of thing that would cost 2 cows.