@longwall26: May you never be as bored as whoever figured out that holding a seashell to your ear sounds like the ocean
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@better_off_dad: Marriage counselor: So, what are we dealing with here? Me: Irreconcilable differences. Her: Football & beer.
@jilleb163: My "I'm enraged!" status update on Facebook garnered a lot of congratulations from people who don't read well.
@AndPlayDad: I don't know what the big deal is. Putting my toddler to bed is easy... In fact, just tonight, I did it 25 times.