@snmrrw: maybe ancient civilizations wouldn't have died out if they'd built regular buildings instead of these dumb ruins
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@_sleepysmile: People always comment about how young I look. I just tell them it's because of all the placenta I've been eating.
@MarkAgee: My mother-in-law's text alert is an entire song. Starting to think my father-in-law's rage isn't really from Vietnam.
@FlyJ_: My kid started doing this annoying preteen whiny voice and now I can turn my head all the way around like the exorcist.
@LadyJanieGeek: Came downstairs to find my 85 year old mum watching the TV Me:" Why are you watching Thatcher's funeral?" Mum: "Just to make sure"