@sammyrhodes: Maybe cologne should come with a two sprays a day lock on it.
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@Brampersandon_: [Cute Girl]: *in hot tub* Hey baby. Why don't you come join me? [Lobster]: No I'm good over here. That's how my dad died.
@GianDoh: The Wizard of Oz (1939): A Kansas runaway discovers the psychedelic powers of blunt-force head trauma.
@PyrBliss: A dragonfly just landed on my face an I reacted the same way I'd react if an actual dragon had landed on my face.