@lazerdoov: Maybe Gotye was an actual goat that sold it's soul for the chance to be a human with a hit song and now he is back to just being a goat
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@T_N_Crumpets: Waiter: black pepper? Me: sure Waiter: say when Me: [remembering I have large investments in numerous peppercorn plantations] haha sure
@HollyHeals: Dressing up as the grim reaper while at work in the ER is not amusing says HR. So uptight.
@DonQuickoats: I wonder if they sell tumbleweeds on eBay, as it would be cool to have a few following me around the office wherever I go
@stevevsninjas: Bear Grylls: *cuts with knife* These can be edible, but I must avoid the toxic parts. Taco Bell Manager: You need permission to film in here