@AsToldByNithya: Maybe if I swallow enough magnets I'll become attractive.
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@keatingthomas: They should give Martin Shkreli a six-month prison sentence, and then at the last second, say, "Actually, that just went up 500%."
@causticbob: Piers Morgan has taken a very strong stance against guns, and who can blame him? If you had a gun, you'd shoot him too.
@OutOnTheMoors: Friend celebrated her birthday today by falling off an elephant in Thailand, if you thought I'm the weird one in my circle.
@coketruck76: Pal: That's an impressive stingray. How'd you catch it? Me:*flashes back to being dressed as girl stingray* You know, the regular way.