@AsToldByNithya: Maybe if I swallow enough magnets I'll become attractive.
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@KrunkedRobot: Just told everybody in the bar to shut the hell up so my date could hear the full effect of my velcro wallet opening.
@StellaRtwot: Just saw a bumper sticker that said "I'd rather be tweeting." It was on a car that was flipped upside down in a ditch.