@AsToldByNithya: Maybe if I swallow enough magnets I'll become attractive.
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@Tw1tter_K1tten: Accidentally drew my eyebrows on too dark and thick and now I live on Sesame Street with Ernie.
@Cryptoterra: Christian politicians hate science because they think it's always talking about two Adams bonding
@tequilasaltlife: I'm a good driver until there is a cop behind me Then I become a paranoid weed transporter from the border