@WeissBrandon: Maybe Jesus went black, and that's why he isn't coming back.
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@Reverend_Scott: MARY JANE: daddy, what's my name from? ME: it's from the comic Spider-Man 420BLAZEIT: and mine? ME: umm [sweating] also Spider-Man
@MichaelTrying: Darwin is a genius. Just realized I'm attracted to women in glasses because I'm more likely to reproduce with a woman who can't see me well.
@AndyAsAdjective: [spelling bee] your word is 'hor d'oeuvre' "can you use it in a sentence?" yes…'I bet this kid can't spell hor d'oeuvre'