@gorrdano: McDonalds employees get so cranky when you perform the entire dance routine to Britney Spear's "I'm a slave for you" before ordering.
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@poe927: Her: You should drink in moderation Me: Moderation?You makin words up? H: You're gonna piss on my lawn again aren't you? M: ...In moderation
@AudreyPorne: him: what do u wanna be? me: I wanna be a cat that transforms into a misty fog when people try to pet me him: wtf, I meant for Halloween?
@TheMichaelRock: Coworker: Why don't you chat with us in the kitchenette in the morning? Me: Because I'm not paid to be your friend & you say kitchenette.