@TheBrokenCrest: Me: *breathes* *gains weight*
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@NouRahif: "Axe" is not going to help you get girls, unless you spray it in their eyes then quickly chloroform them.
@LoveNLunchmeat: him: [has seen Jaws, is smart, knows what to do when he hears the Jaws theme music] me: [has never seen Jaws, is dead now]
@CulturedRuffian: * on a date snuggling * Me: Did you enjoy dinner? Her: Yeah, but now I feel fat. Me: Get your hands off my belly.
@Glittermepink5: I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that the worst time to have a heart attack would be during a game of charades.