@VerifiedDrunk: Me- Can I borrow a screwdriver? Neighbor- Phillips or regular? Me- Grey Goose and Tropicana
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@itrevormoore: I hate when ppl at the grocery store get mad at you for "stealing" their cart of food. YOU DON'T OWN THIS STUFF YET!!!!!!
@AbbeYaar: When I see a girl with a lot of makeup, I want to use my finger & write "WASH ME" on her face.
@NourHadidi: How to stop checking someone's Facebook page: 1. Delete your Facebook profile 2. Break your phone 3. Give away your laptop 4. Die