@VerifiedDrunk: Me- Can I borrow a screwdriver? Neighbor- Phillips or regular? Me- Grey Goose and Tropicana
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@SCbchbum: Officer pulled me over & asked if I knew what the speed limit was, like I'm getting paid to tell him his job.
@WhosTheresa: I could've had a kid with a heroin addiction but Noooo. Instead my kid wants to join a Christian rock band.
@gagging: If you think marijuana doesn't kill you've obviously never read the bible. People getting stoned to death left and right.
@EyesOfGreen73: PSA: If you have kids, do not label the box of your ...ahem.. special items "Toys". It's very awkward to explain.