@StarWarsProblms: Leia: *gasps* Chewbacca, you're naked! Chewbacca: *hastily puts back on his bandoleer*

@AnniemuMary: Two sales people approached me at the furniture store. I'm following the one who called me Miss. The Hello Ma'am one should take note.

@inpoliteco: If you're telling a story to a group and are interrupted and then no one asks you to continue, ruin their party by drowning in the pool.

@ddsmidt: X-rays are dangerous, they were probably less harmful when they were just rays, but after the breakup...

@Timmsmiff: "sir we don't hire people to be mannequins" Me:*strikes mannequin pose* "No, sir we don-" M:*new pose* [under breath] "damn this guys good"