@bobvulfov: ME: does this apartment have a pizza cellar
REALTOR: again, i dont know what that is
@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Know why I stopped you?
"You heard the song I was playing?"
Cop: Yes I did, and now HERE I AM
"ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE"
@NicCageMatch: Ok but how old is your child in minutes?
@mysteryteacher: Really, IKEA? No free WiFi? Or do I have to buy one and assemble it?
@velvettusk: ♫ Hey cow
You're an all star
You are grain fed
You are ground down
@IamEveryDayPpl: I haven't worn corduroy since that time I almost died in a fire chasing the ice cream man...