@NoChillPosts: ME EVERY WEEK OF SCHOOL
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@rzarosco: Is 6 celebrity impersonations too small a number for me to do on this first date? I feel like its a little low...
@Real_Dick_Head: *gets first nose bleed since childhood* Apparently our periods have synced, can I have some Midol and a tampon?
@dafloydsta: [marriage counseling] She's constantly mad at me "There are squirrels living in our house" THEY WERE HOMELESS, KAREN