@YayForAnxiety: Me: "Hello? Yeah hi I'm calling about your commercial where the woman looks really happy cleaning the kitchen, what's her number?"
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@tastefactory: DOCTOR: You've suffered a brain injury. It's affected your hippocampus ME:What? Lol sorry I was picturing hippos at college. Who are u again
@Hormonella: "I love this song!" "This is my favorite song!" "I love this song!" "No, THIS is my favorite song!" ~ Me, listening to my own playlist
@MsCassieDaniels: Disease doesn't care if you are a celebrity, Micheal J. Fox has battled Parkinson for 22 years, and Jamie Lee Curtis is super irregular!
@ArfMeasures: [1st day at work] BOSS: Erm..we..have No Smoking rules here ME: That's great Alan [blows out smoke] most places have loads of smoking rules