@YayForAnxiety: Me: "Hello? Yeah hi I'm calling about your commercial where the woman looks really happy cleaning the kitchen, what's her number?"
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@NurseMurderer: I told my date I was depressed. I added, "not like cut my inner thigh depressed, but sleep with you even though I don't like you depressed."
@OkieGirl405: Roses are red Violets are blue Meet me in bed To learn something new Pfff....poetry is easy
@ImaFlyontheWall: Kid: Dad, a girl called me ugly, how long does ugly last.. Dad:Hey hun Mom:Yes? Dad: How old are you? Mom: 45 Dad:theres your answer kid
@tomcashgent: Noah had a younger brother called Rick who just built a speedboat and saved 9 cheetahs