@truegritrumble: ME: *holding my crying newborn son* There. There. I ALSO find myself very upsetting.
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@hippieswordfish: *she leans in close* 'kyle, what's your wildest fantasy?' *i close my eyes and imagine opening a 10pc chicken nugget and finding 11 pieces*
@NurseSeymour: There are only two things in this world visible from space. One is the Great Wall of China and the other is my pile of laundry.
@RoosterMustache: Hey now, you're a rock star, get your game on, Go plaaaay Hey now, you're potato, get your tate on, Po taaaate