@fro_vo: Me: i never know what to say
Friend: just say something nice
@Cpin42: A lot of parents are asking questions about my baby cannon. Like "Does it really fire babies?" & "Have you seen my son Jeff?"
@girl_a_whirl: I like how this car asks me if it's safe to move in reverse.
WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I WAS GETTING MARRIED???
@UNTRESOR: I wish there was some sort of idiom to describe how easily I just took that lollipop from that infant.
@brynnester: Me: I have an irrational fear of things
Dr: Such as?
Me: Driving, Swimming and Underground Passages
Dr: You have Car Pool Tunnel Syndrome
@imadepoopstoday: "Pull my hair, slap me, call me dirty names" - WTF? I've been doing this since kindergarten and always got yelled at.