@d_duhwit: Me: I treat my body like a temple.
*leaves body in the Mexican jungle for 500 years*
@JennyJohnsonHi5: "Yeah, well your dog isn't a rescue, your snacks are processed and everyone knows you're vaccinated" - how a kid talks shit in 2015
@ShaneKnowsStuff: I don't know about you, but I always watch my garage door go all the way down in case a murderer tries to roll in at the last minute.
@SortaBad: I've upped my game so now instead of buying women at the bar drinks I buy them a pony
@PinkCamoTO: Me: I know it hurts, but you'll learn to love again.
Sheep: I don't know. I can't even look at ewe right now.