@d_duhwit: Me: I treat my body like a temple.
*leaves body in the Mexican jungle for 500 years*
@WhitfordBradley: And Jesus said "If the lepers cannot afford healthcare, let them suffer, for poverty is a character issue."
@3sunzzz: M: If someone calls you the wrong name is it rude to correct them?
Interviewer: I meant questions about the job, Kim.
M: Well, I'm Ursula.
@nPhelendriqal: I just wrote a check for 6 dollars, so I don't really wanna hear about your 'summer' house.
@david8hughes: "The toilet's blocked pretty bad so I called the plumber. Should be here later tod-"
[Bowser spits coffee]
@Izzybcrazy: 2 out of 3 isn't bad. Unless you come home from the park with 2 out 3 kids. Then it's bad