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@BillPelicanBros: Me: Mum was I adopted?
Mum: Yes, but they gave you back
@BobTheSuit: *gets email*
-Do you want to chat with hot nineteen-year olds in your area?-
"Can any of them help me with this iTunes update?"
@abbycohenwl: [sees old lady drop $20]
Devil on Shoulder: Grab her cash!
Devil on other Shoulder: And push her over!
@SteveSuckington: National product once got caught picking his nose and eating it thus forever being known as gross national product.
@warmyellowlight: i don't see why i have to clean the shower. imo it is the shower's job to clean me
@othersome: I'm not the hero Gotham deserves. I'm Pete I work at Subway. Do u want extra meetballs.