@Area51eh: Me: Pack your bags.I won the lottery! G/F: Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff? Me: Doesn't matter, just get out.
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@justabloodygame: Lmao at people who 'play Devil's advocate' like Lucifer doesn't already own all the lawyers.
@DaddyJew: Sneaking up on me from behind while I'm doing dishes is a super fun way to get yourself stabbed with a steak knife
@FeelParmesan: *On a first date. Her: I'm just tired of all the games Me: *slowly slides the deck of UNO cards back in my coat pocket