@batkaren: ME: Take care of my cat while I'm away?
HITMAN: [screwing on silencer] No problem.
@Shock_Monster: So, when I wear my phone clipped to my belt & a fanny pack, I'm a douche.nnBatman does it & it's a bad-ass utility belt. nnnDouble standard.
@krisv_723: I found a Squirtle in my pants & I'm not even playing Pokémon Go!
@VanGobot: leatherface: cmon, we're gonna be late!
pinhead: *putting in one pin at a time* this doesn't just HAPPEN you know
leatherface: you look fine
@dafloydsta: [job interview]
"What's your biggest weakness?"
I make poor decisions
"Can you explain?"
Sure, but let's do some shots first
@_ElvishPresley_: Alfred: I've completed engineering on the new batmobile radar unit
Batman: That's great and did the dishes do themselves?
Alfred: no sir