@batkaren: ME: Take care of my cat while I'm away?
HITMAN: [screwing on silencer] No problem.
@mydmac: I am religious. I religiously avoid church.
@QwertyJones3: Moose: Sorry, I need to quit this yoga class.
Yoga Instructor: NahMooseStay!
@RealSudoNim: Guy wearing Superman t-shirt. LOL. Way to blow your identity idiot.
@That_Damn_Duck: How I wear a scarf:
1. Take scarf and drape it over my shoulder
2. Find an annoying co-worker and choke them to death with it.
@josh___grant: Don't people with bumper stickers realize it takes a t-shirt to change a person's deeply held beliefs?