@DadInUtah: Me: What are you doing in your pajamas still? 3 year old: Eating frosting. Me: Fair enough.
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@turtledumplin: We all have that one friend who thinks they can sing...and if you can't think of who, that friend is you.
@Kyle_Lippert: "I hope this makes them name a radioactive turtle after me" Michelangelo thought as he painted the Sistine Chapel "that would be hella rad"
@KeetPotato: kid dressed as dog: "trick or treat" me: wife: "give him some chocolate then" me: "i don't want to kill him linda"