@DaddyJew: Me: what do you want to be when you grow up?
Me: no, something reasonable
@CARRIONIER: To balance out Elon Musk sending a Tesla into space, I'm going to drive my '93 Civic into the ocean.
@iGreenMonk: Sometimes you just got to listen to your heart, and my heart is like "listen to your stomach".
@jazmasta: DOC: We think you may have a phobia of marriage. Do you know what the symptoms are?
ME: Can't say I do
DOC: That's one of the symptoms, yes.
@angibangie: Him: I love nerd girls
Me: Cool! Did you know the human body can't feel water, only a change in temperature?
Him: no. not like that.
@Travis_Lemire: Oh, you lost your phone and it's on silent? That's too bad. If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it.