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@Swishergirl24: Me: What the hell do you want?
Him: Um, YOU called ME.
@decentbirthday: cop: the perp was found with red paint on his fingers, so i guess you could say he was caught.. *looks at camera* why is there a camera here
@OldUncleDaveO: Pretty sure I just heard a grown man wrestle a bear in a bathroom stall at Chipotle.
@AphroditeAfter5: No Grandma, "sausage fest" is not a new special breakfast at IHOP
@briangaar: If a bear attacks you, play dead. Ok good, you're about to feel like this forever
@tastefactory: PARENTS: your teen may be worshipping Satan. Look for these terms:
LOL - Lucifer Our Lord
BRB - Burn Religious Books
TBH - Tell Beelzebub Hi