@joss: Mean people tell me "you've got a face only a mother could love" but the joke's on them because she didn't
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@gwatts77: Me: Can I order the conch fritters please? Waitress: The "ch" is pronounced like a "k" Me: Okay Bick.
@sacca: Anyone who says "Let's all put our phones down and talk with each other," is just running out of battery and needs a charge.
@girl_a_whirl: His icy glare melts my creamy core. He's so cold, beads of water drip down his exterior. My walls ache to be drowned by him. -Oreo to milk
@DanMentos: *guy struggling to pick his teeth with a toothpick* Narrator: Don't you wish there were a better way? -commercial for business cards