@clindsaysway: Meant to say, "Let me check my calendar and get back to you." What came out: "I'm available anytime"
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@ericsshadow: If Donald Trump becomes President, The rest of us should be able to just walk into any hospital & start working as doctors
@TheWeirdWorld: With a dog, you have a glimpse into parenting. With a cat, you have a glimpse into marriage.
@therichards5: [looks at text from 2 days ago] Me: Sorry about your car, do you still need a ride home?