@novicefather: Meant to type "Lmaoooo" but left off the "L" and now she thinks I'm singing the praises of The People's Republic.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@treydayway: Hell hath no fury like a woman who just said "seriously?" after a comment you made during an argument.
@JohnLyonTweets: [heaven] Abraham Lincoln: If only I'd stayed in that night instead of going to that show. Batman's parents: Same.
@byronblurb: Me: My head hasn't been in the right place lately. GF: You might want to check up your ass.
@WeissBrandon: Apparently, "I just assumed" is a horrible answer when your wife asks you why you bought her the "heavy flow" tampons.