@hurlarious: Megan with an h? Whatever Hmegan....
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@tastefactory: Manager: Your fired Me: *You're Manager: How did you know I spelled it wrong if I spoke it out loud Me: How did you know I corrected you
@BillArrundale: Tell a woman she has cute kids and she's all proud. Whisper it to her and she calls the cops.
@LeBearGirdle: Jesus: one of you will betray me tonight *checks phone* Jesus: WHO IN DAD'S NAME UNFOLLOWED ME?!" *judas slyly slips phone back in robe*