@Mikecanrant: melancholy is my favorite feeling that also sounds like a delicious dog
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@ewfeez: [wife walks in on me rubbing coconut oil all over my body] What are you doing? "Uhh, SOMEONE said I don't glisten very well?"
@chryztl: My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs... I've been his customer for 6 years... I had no idea he was a barber.
@RoxiieHart: Down on yourself for being lazy? Keep in mind the Greeks believed their Gods lived atop a very hikeable mountain and no one went to check.