@OhSweetCharity: Men and women CAN be just friends. But only if one of them is ugly.
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@flashember: *wakes up in the belly of a whale* me: this can't be happening again morgan freeman: but it was, he was in the belly of a whale again
@SinfulShelly: I scare off men like I'm some kind of evil clown hiding in their closet. "I'm not a clown!" I shouted as I sniffed his sweater vest.
@MarlaCaceres: Give a toddler a crayon and he will eat that crayon. Teach him how to color and he will eat more crayons.
@WheelTod: Distraught after losing a full carton of milk, I tattooed its photo on my kid's face, in hope someone recognizes and returns it.