@NoorShamma: Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Mars has 2 moons. Venus has no moons. Do you see where I'm getting at? Men, GIVE BACK OUR MOON!
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@hazelmotes1: Superman: I'm my own worst enemy. Lex Luthor: oh. That's nice. I'm literally standing right here.
@Pirate_nurse: In my defense I told him it was my cheat day and I didn't understand why he brought home cupcakes and not Juan from the gym
@hell_homer: Gandalf chuckled to himself as the boat left shore. "I just noticed," he whispered, "your name sounds like Dildo" #LastLinesFromGreatBooks