@ella__fraser: Men that know the difference between moist and wet, know the difference between failure and success
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: While never officially canonized by a Pope, Saint Patrick is widely recognized as the patron saint of Slytherin.
@jake_lach: Is that a cop behind me? No, just a car with a bike rack. Or maybe it's an undercover cop with a bike rack? -Weed
@rickolantern: Kids have so many food allergies these days. In 15 years you'll be able to rob a bank with a bag of peanuts.
@thatdutchperson: "You're not pretty enough. Now pay us $3.99 so we can tell you why." - Magazines