@TampaBayMomma: Men think us women dream of finding the perfect man when really, all we want is to eat anything without getting fat.
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@ChribHibble: The best thing about alcohol hand gel in hospitals isn't the hygiene, but that everyone walks around like they're hatching a dastardly plan.
@Chumpstring: I let people know that I'm no weirdo. I say "I'm no weirdo!" From that point forward, it's just a matter of keeping my mouth off their pets.
@U_Want_Shum_M8: My 5 year old brother said "when I'm older I won't have a GF, I'll live on my own like my big brother" YEAH CAUSE THAT'S TOTALLY A CHOICE