@TampaBayMomma: Men think us women dream of finding the perfect man when really, all we want is to eat anything without getting fat.
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@Josievorenkamp: Whoever figured out that you can make cake in a mug in under a minute was probably really going through some shit.
@lizard_wizard77: “i cnat believe this!” he yells as his beard of bees turns on him. “i would expect this from the others but not u” he says to 1 specific bee
@hotdogsladies: Conjecture: At some point in 2013, our neighbors will get so high that they accidentally sell their own weed. For weed money. To buy weed.