@TampaBayMomma: Men think us women dream of finding the perfect man when really, all we want is to eat anything without getting fat.
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@Gre_Gone: [Ad shows dude getting out of bed before noon on the weekend] *professional stuntman do not attempt*
@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: My teacher said this project needs adult supervision. Me: OK, what do you need me to do? 5-year-old: Go find Mom.
@BuckyIsotope: *sits son down for the talk* You ready? “Yeah” Ok. When a man and a woman love each other- *pulls out Pokéball* -they throw this at a baby