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@chuuew: [pulled over] COP: Did you know you were speeding? ME: I didn't even know I was driving COP: Out
@neonwario: I excuse myself to the washroom before I order You walk in and see me, leaning towards the mirror repeating "I'll have the hamburger please"
@GlennHowerton: Happy St. Paddy's Day, everyone. I stayed in tonight. I'm not allowed to go out on St. Paddy's Day anymore. It's too much.