@ninatreemonkey: Met my boyfriend on eharmony, also eharmony is the nickname I gave this vending machine, meet my sandwich
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ShortSleeveSuit: [death row sitcom] Me [sits down in a chair to eat]: This chicken is raw! Warden [flicks switch]: That's about to change Sign: *APPLAUSE*
@tomwalkerisgood: As his name is not "Biggest Bird", we are to understand that Sesame Street is home to at least one, perhaps more, truly immense unseen birds
@LDLevesque: I always envisioned Hermione as a burly, middle-aged Italian fellow, so imagine my surprise when the films revealed her to be a little girl.