@ninatreemonkey: Met my boyfriend on eharmony, also eharmony is the nickname I gave this vending machine, meet my sandwich
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@KentWGraham: We’re looking for a place with a nice view of the sidewalk, a big garden to dig up and a soundproof basement for storms. –Dog House Hunters
@allthenachos: We're going to build a great wall to keep the inspirational tweets out. And Facebook is going to pay for it. Make Twitter Great Again.
@Jandalize: My 16yo daughters boyfriend struggled with a capri sun for the last 10 minutes. I think it's ok to leave her alone with him.
@CDMEclairs: Angry Birds for Olympics: Instead of hitting two birds with one stone, here you can hit two stones with one bird.