@waydybee: Met this chinese guy with the surname Shen. His name's Eric. As in Eric Shen. Have him for more than 4hours, call a doctor!
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@gkaluma: Why are government cars always in a hurry!! That sense of urgency is not reflected anywhere in their official duties.
@dubstep4dads: "you okay man?" listen dude... i know what im doing *lights a cigarette backwards* ive seen Guy Code like six times
@WhatevaConc: Not now ex-boyfriend. Someone favorited 2 of my tweets. I'm a huge deal around there now & you lost your chance. Just kidding. What time?